Wednesday, April 25, 2012

FInal Details

T went with his sibilings and Mom today to plan all the service details for his Dad's funeral.  Service to be held on Saturday here in town and burial on Monday up north.  He has been by her side through most of this whole ordeal.  He was with her from the day Dad entered the hospital until Sunday night when he came home at 10 pm.  He was back up there for the final step 13 hours later. 

I met him at the church where they finalized all the service information.  I met him there to pick him so he could finally come home.  They invited me in to sit with them during this planning.  That was not my intentions.  I went just to pick him up and since Bean was with me she wanted to go in the building with him and Babcia (T's mom - polish word for Grandma).  I was going to sit in the waiting room incase Bean needed me.  I felt bad since none of the other spouses were present.  They planned the whole service with readings and music.  I was asked to read one of their choices.  I believe I will read from the book of Malachi.  I cannot remember for sure if that was the one I was assigned to, or which specific verses.  I hope I can do the read justice and not break down.

Once T go home he looked exhausted.  I think the moment in walked in the door he left all the strength outside that he had left.  He laid on the couch with his eyes closed most of the time. He went and laid in bed with Mads and Bean for a bit and then just laid there with the lights off.  I went and laid next to him.  Placed my head on his chest and wanted so badly to let the world melt away for awhile for him...  but kids do not allow that to happen.  It lasted for less than 5 minutes.  By the time I was done tending to them and got them settled in bed.. he was asleep, deep asleep.. snorning and all.  I am sure it was good to sleep in our bed and just be home.  The chaios and all.  I am sure all his emotions will come full circle at this point.  He has been so focused on his Mom and keeping her grounded that I don't this he has had a moment to process his own heart.

Tomorrow our oldest daughter will celebrate her 10th birthday.  I am so glad her Daddy will be here for that.  I took this week off of work and serving lunch at school so I am available if they need for funeral things... but tomorrow is all about Abs!!!  Just my baby!  T and I are going to decorate the house with balloons and streamers.  I am going hang the birthday banner up and cut out her name to hang it on the wall.  I have asked all her aunts, uncles, grandparents and a few good friends of ours to email me a message to put on those letters. She picked out what she wants T to make her for dinner and then the two of them are going to go see a performance of Wiz of Oz that her best friend is cast in.  The whole family was going to go, but I think the two of them really need time alone with all that has happened.  I am going to take her on Friday after school to get her nails done.  :)  So excited.  There was no way I was going to let this day pass without large celebrations!  It is bittersweet considering the events that will follow. :(

Makes me think even more how important it is to express your love for those that are important daily.  God blesses us with them, we shouldn't ever take them for granted.

With that... Lalu More,  D

Monday, April 23, 2012

The Heaven's Opened Their Gates In Song

It is amazing how quickly life passes us by.  Today is the end of marriage that lasted 53 years.  My father in law passed away peacefully today after being hospitalized for exactly a week.  I posted that T took the girls up north for four days to spend time with them while I cleaned out my house.  I didn't know that it would be the last trip my girls would take to see their grandfather that they loving call Dzia Dzia (pronounced Jaja - polish for Grandpa).  Joey was an amzaing man. Lived through so much pain, struggle and happiness.  He is the father of 4, grandfather of 8.  He loved to joke and make everyone laugh, right to the end.  T came home on Sunday with the girls and turned around on Monday and went back to be with his parents.  His father was admitted less than 24 hours T left his house.  T ended up spending the week there to help his mom and be with his Dad.  I drove up on Saturday with intentions of bringing T home with me that night.  Well, Joey had a bad Friday night and I ended up staying until Sunday morning.  T came home late lastnight with his brother.  T decided to stay home this morning to see the girls before going to work.  They haven't seen him in a week and were so excited he was home.  What a bittersweet visit it was.  He left for work at 8 am and then left for upnorth by 2:00 pm.  Joey passed around 6:00.  It was peacefull and painless. 

12 years ago on June 13th I lost my step dad.  He was so much more than what those words say.  Bottom line, he was more of a Dad than my biologicial dad was at the time and a good portion of my life. I struggled so hard with his passing after a struggle from cancer for a year and half.  The struggle wasn't becasue his death was so prolonged. I can say today it was because my faith was no where near where it is today.  I am comfortable with Joey's passing.  I know he had a strong faith in Christ.  I know he is in heaven with our glorious maker.  I find so much comfort that he is no longer sick and is in a much beautiful place.  When GPaw left, I had none of that. 

I have cried on and off throughout the night.  More for the pain my mother in law is feeling becasue she lost the love of her life.  More for my children not being able to make more memories with their grandfather who adored them beyond belief.  More for my husband who lost his father.  More for the fact that Joey won't be here anylonger to make me laugh at the silliest things.  I will miss his spirit he had for enjoying the little things.  I will cherish all the time I spent with him.  I will take with me all the memories, laughs, moments we shared...

I will celebrate his life for every breathe he took, not morn over his last. 

Joey.. make sure you say hello to my Dad and tell him all about my girls and how much he would have loved and adored them just as you did.  Tell him how much Ab is like me and how it would drive him crazy.  How much Mads is like T and always knows what to say to turn a serious moment into a more relaxed and fun time.  How much Bean is so affectionate and funny with her off the wall comments.  I promise you we will take care of your girl!

We will always look for you in the heavens and as Bean said today "Because Dzia Dzia is in heaven the stars will shine brighter now!"  We will make sure you shine brighter than ever!


Sunday, April 8, 2012


Here it is Easter Sunday and I realized that nothing has been done here since February.  Wow! What a slacker.  Life has been passing by day by day quicker than I can think.  It has been so buys and I find that April is going to look the same way.... except for today....

For the first time in many years we are not by my Dad's house today for Easter.  This saddens me greatly.  Dad decided to go up to his house near Madison to finish up the renovations so they can move into it officially.  He has really been pushing for us to come up... looks like it will have to wait until the girls are out of school.  But, back to today... it doesn't seem right not being at his house with my sister and her kids and CeCe.  I am sitting here in my living room while Spike sunbathes in the window.  T and the girls are downstairs playing Skylanders on the Wii...  So quite.  I should love this after the last two weeks.. but nope... I wnat the madness of my Dad's house... the loud noise of all the kids playing in the 1000 sq foot home.  I want the laughter of my Dad telling crazy stories.  Just the simple joy of extended family.  Mom is coming over this afternoon... at some point ... hopefully.  At least she said she is.  We will see if she shows up. 

On the up sides... so much has taken place over the past few months...  My brother was in the hospital in March due to an infection in his arm.  We do not know what it is from... he claims a bug bite or something.  We don't know if this is true.  It was so bad they had to cut open a 7 inch area and clean out his arm.  :(  ouch!  He is still healing from that.  He is living back with Mom again and I don't think she will ever learn.  He is just toxic and I am at the point where I just so done with him.

CeCe asked to start confirmation classes and Pastor is willing to work with her based on the times I have her.  She is doing really well and still very interested.  I hope it continues with her.  Ab turns 10 this month already and I am shocked about that.  She is so grown up and is often mistaken for being older.  She is so mature and I am hoping that the teen years go easy with her.  Lord knows that Mads and Bean will be a whole different story. LOL

We started Easter break on Friday.  It was much needed.  I am looking forward to taggin' all the stuff for the Kid's Rummage in May and clearing out my basement.  The girls and I have started making out summer check list of all the crafts and places we would like to do.  :)  It will be fun to have the whole summer to ourselves again and not worry about watching any children.  Last summer wasn't bad.. but it just wasn't the same.  Only 9 weeks til it starts!  We are thinking heading to South Carolina for a camping trip with the family.  T has found a great place that looks beautiful.  We thought 6 days camping... laying low... books, sand, water, fishing, walks... all sound wonderful.  What a huge contrast to the vacation last year to Disney.  It was great and I worth every cent... but I do prefer relaxing vacations... :)

Off to help cook a ham.... 

Have a blessed Easter!  He is RISEN! He has RISEN INDEED!